"Love Series" Part 2 "Women in Relationships" Pst #3 "Concerned Ego"

Why shall one be on each other's mind?
With our deep thoughts and strong-minded ways,
Trying to figure out what's on your mind while still in a gaze.
While our hearts are filled with the on-going vibes and the unwanted contentment that shows on your face,
Just trying to understand the true deal, your deepest blues without getting on your case.

With the concerned look and the worries that lies on our soul,
The stress or heavy burdens that temporarily fold.
Is it our job to be concerned, to be worried without putting up a fight?
Waiting for the answer that we wanna hear, let us comfort your anger and ease your heart; whole staying up with you til the morning light.

Don't push us away when things aren't over or quite solved,
We might be fussy at times or nag a lil, but at the end of the day, we try to care about feelings, your feelings, no arguing after all.

Why are we concerned about the way you say things when we assume you are getting mad?
Lending our heart and mind, things that makes you glad.

Don't push the ego away, the concerned ego,
Who wants to be deep in your mind, in your thoughts,
the late-night frustrations and stress you have fought.

Don't push a good thing too the side when you're struggling with life's issues,
And no cards and balloons saying 'I miss you"
Don't ever forget a good thing going when you're in the mix of a storm, a problem, or a crazy time, don't just say no,
You better make time for a woman's concerned ego!

"The Last TearDrop" by independentdva| Lulu Poetry

"The Last TearDrop" by independentdva Lulu Poetry

"Love Series" Part II "Women in Relationships" Pst #2 "What a Woman Looks/Wants in a Man:Above n Beyond"

A female is window shopping for a birthday gift for one of her girlfriends. She spots a nice sweater and decides to go inside to look at the price and sizes. A sales clerk walks up to her to see if she needed any assistance. The female looks up and the first thing she notice about the sales clerk is his______________.

Now what would your answer be Ladies? What is the first thing you notice about a man or when a man approaches you?

A lot may run through your mind as to picking out the best answer. It may be their clothes , how their hair is lined up, the kind of shoes they wear or their eyes. Most females will notice a guy's eye first. A saying I remember growing up was "You can tell a lot about a guy by looking in their eyes." Yet that may be true to some , but it's what females may see; getting a glimpse of a man. Personally for me, the first thing I notice when I see a man are their eyes. It's just something about them that gets my attention. But whatever you notice first ladies about a man, there will be some type of attraction to follow.

A Females Wants/Qualities in a Man

C'Mon Ladies! Now we all have that list of what we want in a man. Let's dust off that list and drag it out of our personal box and let's look at that list again. It's a reminder of when we are dating a guy in what we see as the most important quality of a man. We don't want any type of guy, but someone who meet our standards and shares of of those qualities that are very important to us. Some of our lists may be short, simple and sweet while others may have about 20 items listed. And that's OK because when you list down those qualities, it gives us an idea. But whatever they are, its very important that we distinguish what we cherish the most about a man and most importantly, the relationship itself and if the man can perform well , We know there is no such thing as the perfect man, BUT we know what we want IN a man. Let's examine some of those important qualities that a lot of females want in a man.

"Good Personality." The way a man carries themselves represents themselves, acts towards certain situations are some of the things that may distinguishes a "good personality' If a man is intelligent, smart, loyal, good-hearted, these are some traits that may lead up to a good personality as well. It's mainly about how a man carries themselves Ladies that are important.

"Communication" OMG! Now if you don't have this on your list, you are missing out on the MAIN ingredient in a relationship and within a person. How many of you ladies want a man that knows how to hold a decent conversation, who can talk to you about ANYTHING, who can tell you straight forward when there are change of plans? A relationship CAN'T function properly unless there is COMMUNICATION involved! I don't care if you been in a relationship with the same guy for 4 years. If there isn't NO communication whatsoever, it will sink FAST!

"Good Listener" We all have stories to tell when we get off from work and when we get back home. The first thing you wanna do is pick up the phone and call him because you know that he will listen. When a man listens to your problems and your needs, it means that he actually cares what you have to say! Most men AREN'T good listeners, so they tend to have a hard time comforting their soul mate and give out pointers/suggestions. You want to be able to talk to your man and be comfortable with the fact he will listen to you no matter what. Ladies, we tend to get emotional from time to time, so comfort and a shoulder to cry on is very important and a man should be able to performs those tasks in a relationship.

Here is my List of Qualities I want in a Man. Are some of these same ones on your list?

NIKKI'S QUALITIES IN A MAN

1) Great Personality

2) Good sense of Humor

3) Mature

4) Communication

5) REAL/Honesty

6) Produces 50% in a relationship

7) Good listener

8) Respectful

9) Romantic

10) Fun

What defines a REAL Man?

We all want a soul mate that will bring spark , great attitude and hard work into a relationship. But at the same time, we want a break-down of what realness should be about , what it should look like and how it should feel like.

What is your definition of a REAL MAN? Is it how he respects your whole persona? The way he communicates with you day in day out? When he admits his makes when he's wrong? When he shows his REAL emotions to you when he comforts you in the midnight hour?

The definition of a REAL man goes above and beyond. He doesn't just settle for less, but tries to meet every need for his mate. He tries in everything that he does and doesn't quit until the job is done. The faithful image he tries to pertain and won't stop until she's happy and satisfied.

Ladies, we all have our say-so moments when it comes to meeting guys and as females, we set high-standards for ourselves. So the next man that walks into your life, make sure he learns to value your needs and dignity!

"We don't settle for less because we deserve BETTER

We don't take mess from any guy, we are QUEENS

We rely on ourselves and don't rely on MAN

We are one of a kind like special pearls and rubies that are precious in his SIGHT"

Part II "Women in Relationships" Post #1 "That Hea Woman"

Look over there, that independent Diva chick standing on the side, looking fly, swagga so right,

This woman can't be missed, she's always in sight.

She knows what she wants in life, strives for it, believes in it, achieves in it,

The things she does to reach her goals will surely benefit.

That Hea Woman

Man she stands on her own two feet, does what she gotta do, she gets the job done,

The Battle she is fighting in her live, with God on her side, she has already won!

She doesn't look back at her past mistakes but keeps it moving; has a smile upon her face,

Steady on her grind, she has no time to waste.

That Hea Woman

She doesn't choose just any man that's laying around, but chooses a good man, the RIGHT man, Someone who will cherish her like gold, treats her like the Queen she is, someone who understands.

Not quick to get into drama of the world, more of a listener and an observer, she's too smart for that,

Not like these loud-mouthed, no good wanna-be Divas, she knows how to act!

That Hea Woman

She ain't afraid to speak her mind,

Look at that Diva to the left and to the right, she's one-of-a-kind.

Rolling the red carpet down the aisle because of her true fame, her unique game,

You better not disrespect her or put her to shame!

That Hea Woman

Part I "Love Series" "Conclusion"

Love comes in many different forms and levels. But we as humans must understand that when loves comes, its going to come hared and if its the real deal, its going to stay for as long as it needs to.

By defining love as a passionate and deep feeling between two people, the word can be misused in a way that can be hurtful. Yes its a "four-letter" word, but you have to understand that by saying "I love you," it has to come from the heart. Yes anyone can say that word, don't get me wrong, but when you DON'T mean it, it can cause a big misunderstanding and if feelings are involved, people will feel pain and frustrations.

Even when we want people to love us and get the attention of love that we deserve, we sometimes feel depressed or stressed. Especially in relationships when we think our partners love us in the beginning and as the relationship shifts, the love dies down. We want to be loves so badly, but you can't force others to love you back. But the ONLY person that will love us UNCONDITIONALLY is GOD Himself! God will always be on our side no matter what. When we are lonely and need to be loved and rocked, God won't hesitate! He'll be there in a second! That is the GREATEST LOVE EVER!

When we talk about love vs. lust, we all have been down the lust road a couple times in our lifetime. But when dealing with lust, you have to be careful because one can get hurt and when feelings are involved, they can sometimes lead to jealousy. But when you are dealing with REAL love, its a great feeling to share. Experiencing fake love is not where you want to go or feel in ANY relationship. When one say "I love you," and don't put in any hard work or effort, its' pointless! Let's all experience REAL love and get the best out of it!

In a relationship, you go through the different stages of love. Before you meet a person, there has to be an attraction of interest that establishes that passionate relationship. And when you feel as if the two of you are meant to be together, then by making a commitment, you are agreeing to stay with that person and share/bond together through the good times and bad.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage" -Lao Tzu

You have been "in love" and you have been "out of love," but what's more important is the person that holds your heart in the present and in the future!

"Your Love ..." Part One "Love" Post #5

Your love is an example of how the passion keeps the fire,

Your love is the true divine of one's heart desire.

Your love is what makes me feel good even when I'm sad,

Your love isn't just out of the ordinary, it doesn't try to make me mad.

Your love is what multiplies my pain and weakness that makes me even stronger,

Your love isn't a rush for our commitment, we can wain even longer.

Your love isn't a vacancy between true feelings of what's real and fake,

Your love doesn't argue over the feelings of intimacy, it doesn't debate; it distinguishes a strong bond, your love tries to make.

Your love always puts a smile upon my face when times have changed and darkness falls,

Your love reminds me how high it will take me and never shall I fall.

Your love deepens my mind, body and soul to a point that I'm speechless,

Your love doesn't try to take over, it works together, I appreciate this.

Your love is here to stay, it will never leave my side,

Your love is something that I can't ever ensurely deny.

"Love Series" Part One "Love" Post #4 "The Five Stages of Love"

When you are involved in a relationship or when talking to someone, you have to start from scratch and work your way up. When you start talking to someone, what's the first thing you do or ask to start the spark?

Well here is a breakdown of the Five Stages of Love in a relationship.

Stage One Attraction: There has to be some sort of attraction when you like somebody beyond friendship. You normally start becoming that person's friend then oven the months, things may change. I discovered that there are two types of attraction: Physical attraction and emotional attraction.

Physical attraction forms when bodies make contact or when both people develops a connection of one's image. All types of feelings start to form in you mind whereas your heart rate may increase or your palms may get sweaty.

Emotional attraction occurs when the two of you start to share some things the two of you may have in common such as hobbies, movies, education, etc. You will then start to form an emotional contact.

Stage Two Romance: Everyone tries to be romantic in their relationship to impress the other person and to basically satisfy one's needs. Did you know there are two types of romance.? Well if you didn't know, they are selfish and selfless romance.

When dealing with selfish romance, a person may buy gifts or do romantic things. It's basically doing romantic acts to gain something for yourself. You aren't really thinking of the other person's feelings.

On the other hand, selfless romance is when you do things to win someones happiness. The romantic things you do for your partner is basically out of the enjoyment and pleasure.

Stage Three Passion: This stage is basically a desire between two people that goes beyond an emotional attraction. It's like a strong feeling; a connection of some sort. The passion stage is very important in a relationship.

Stage Four Intimacy: This is where you share your most deepest thoughts and feelings to each other. It could be as deep as sharing your fears. At this point, you are opening up and releasing anything that's in you mind to each other. You should be able to trust your partner to a point that becoming intimate shouldn't be a problem.

Stage Five COMMITMENT: This is a very, very, very IMPORTANT part of a relationship. It's a pledge to one another to remain true and honest to one another. When you are making a commitment, you are agreeing to be there with your partner through the good times and the bad times. What makes a commitment hard at times is dealing with the bad times. You will have to learn how to outweigh the bad times along with the good!

LIVE, LEARN, LOVE, LAUGH...BE HAPPY!!!

"Love Series" Part I: "Love" Post #3; "Love vs Lust"

Love

As I continue to explore the whole theory on Love and try to express my opinions, I want to let you know that love isn't just a 4-letter word as a lot of you may know. Behind that word, there are strong feelings, passionate thoughts, hurt, pain, tear, insecurities, etc

Love has many faces and it shows different personalities. We all go through many emotions, the frustrations, the worries, the stress and even the happiness when dealing with love. I asked the question, "What is your definition of love?" in one of my latest posts from last week. Basically in my opinion, Love is the passion; a true divine feeling expressed between two people.

As you already know, "Love is patient, Love is kind..," so basically when you experience "True Love," you got to realize the hard work that is put into it to make it last.

Real Love vs Fake Love

Okay we all have experience both types in our lifetime. It's pretty simple to determine when love is here to stay for good or whether love is here to stay for a season.

Real Love

Everyone in their life have been in love/experienced the "Real Deal" If you haven't you will someday. Can you even remember the first time you fell in love? Long time huh? I remember my first love when I was 18. It's a great feelings. Taking me out to the movies and out to eat, buying me gifts~! He had me geeked for sure! lol It's all about how you show you love and appreciation for that person. It's more then saying "I love you." You got to show that person why you love them so much and show them that you are here to stay. When you are in a "committed" relationship, you tend to develop strong feelings and you way of thinking tend to change when it's real love, it's hear to stay, You are no longer thinking just about yourself, but for the other person as well. You share a relationship, a commitment, a bond...One Love...REAL LOVE.

Fake Love

What's more worst than loving somebody who claim they don't love you back? Like I said before, people are quick to say "I love you." This type of love pretends...it shows no desire of any intention of full-filling a true commitment. No work goes into the relationship and therefore one person is left to not believing in love. I'm not saying you have to spend time with your mate 24/7 or buy gifts all the time, but try and show you appreciation and affection once in a while. Fake love leeches on to an individual for numerous of reasons. One of them may be so that they can abuse your love without loving back. They may be in relationship for insecurity reasons and then leave the relationship with no explanation.

The Five Types of Love

Alot of you may not know the different types of love and the difference between then. Here they are:

1) Eros: This type of love is a passionate love with a sensual desire. It doesn't necessary have to be a sexual type of love either.

So basically if you like someone or have your eye on a particular person, you may experience a passionate love for that person.

2) Philia: This type of love is expressed as a friendship type of love and it's also a type of love that is used between family and friends.

A lot of times when you experience the closeness in a friendship or with family, you feel the love and you express it through appreciation.

3) Agape: This means "I love You" and is a general affection or brotherly love, "divine" love and a sacrificing love.

We all know the scripture in the Bible "love thy neighbor..." This is a type of love shown between our Christian brothers and sisters.

4) Storge: This type of love is an "affectionate" love and is expressed towards parents and relationships within family.

We should all be familiar with this type of love.

5) Thelema: This type of love means having a desire for something.

In other words, what do you love doing the most? Is it making beats to music, writing poetry, or collect antiques? Whatever it is, you have a desire, a love for it.

Lust

What is your definition of Lust? A lot of people have their own interpretations and opinion of what is the real definition is. The real definition of lust is "a craving for sexual intercourse; an appetite; a desire or "craving"

Basically when you're dealing with lust, you're dealing with evilness, jealousy, anger, cravings and all types of desires. You aren't looking for a relationship, because your feelings for that person isn't about "getting to know them," its about "getting with them."

What leads to Lust?

When you develop a lust for someone, you're not thinking about their feelings, but the "physical" attraction a person may portray in their image. For females, it may be a guy's chest, their abs, lips, eyes or frames and for males, it may be her body, smile, eyes etc.

When the attraction is full-filled for one another, it's kind of hard to control those emotional feelings that are developed. It doesn't take much for lust to occur because its like the easy way outta love and the only way to skip straight to dessert. Lust only lasts for a couple of hours and then afterwards, you may feel a little guilty or resentful. You are giving a piece of yourself to a stranger or somebody you may know then to be with someone for the right reasons and giving them all of you.

The Bible states in Corinthians in the love chapter; it breaks down what love is. But did you know Lust has an opposite break down as well? For Example: "Love is patient." and Lust is saying "Lust can't wait; its impulsive." According to http://www.calvaryftl.org/Ministries/Family/Love-vs-Lust; this is basically saying that Lust has to happen right then and there. It has no timing or life-long goals. "Love is kind." Lust is saying that it seeks more than earned. When you are out looking for Lust, you are only searching for the sexual desire that's already developed.

Three Ways to Prevent Lust

1) Determine what you want from that person. Whether you want a relationship or just lust.

2) Try to play hard to get sometimes. Don't let everyone know that you are "easy access" to them.

3) Have your limitations with people. Don't let people get the best of you.