"Love Series" Part II "Women in Relationships" "EyeCandy"

Visualizing about Mr. Right, perfect eye color and even body size,
Mr. Pretty boi you may be my kind of guy.
Yeah you may got the look and the swag going on flaunting and flashing your million dollar smile,
Us independent and classy females may flirt a little, but the silly games we won't allow!
Your looks can be tempting, you may me hidding the danger of fakeness and games behind your eyes,
The image of a good man you may seem, not knowing if the game you spit may be lies.
You may look good on the outside, but on the inside, what type of person are you really?
Are you that charming type whose every word is catching and silly?
Talk can be cheap but actions can be dwelling,
Watching how you talk, flirt, you are making sure you aren't failing!
We are truly convinced that Mr. Smooth is the new thing, that he's it,
But later down the line when he breaks our heart and the REAL him comes to the light, we then realize that he wasn't shit!
Looks can be deceiving,
The sweet talk that has no meaning.
Don't let the smile, swag, the whole persona fool you,
Playas can sneak in ; their games aren't brand new.
When things seem to be fine and dandy,
The sexiness is only EYECANDY!

"Love Series" Part 2 "Women in Relationships" Pst #3 "Concerned Ego"

Why shall one be on each other's mind?
With our deep thoughts and strong-minded ways,
Trying to figure out what's on your mind while still in a gaze.
While our hearts are filled with the on-going vibes and the unwanted contentment that shows on your face,
Just trying to understand the true deal, your deepest blues without getting on your case.

With the concerned look and the worries that lies on our soul,
The stress or heavy burdens that temporarily fold.
Is it our job to be concerned, to be worried without putting up a fight?
Waiting for the answer that we wanna hear, let us comfort your anger and ease your heart; whole staying up with you til the morning light.

Don't push us away when things aren't over or quite solved,
We might be fussy at times or nag a lil, but at the end of the day, we try to care about feelings, your feelings, no arguing after all.

Why are we concerned about the way you say things when we assume you are getting mad?
Lending our heart and mind, things that makes you glad.

Don't push the ego away, the concerned ego,
Who wants to be deep in your mind, in your thoughts,
the late-night frustrations and stress you have fought.

Don't push a good thing too the side when you're struggling with life's issues,
And no cards and balloons saying 'I miss you"
Don't ever forget a good thing going when you're in the mix of a storm, a problem, or a crazy time, don't just say no,
You better make time for a woman's concerned ego!

"The Last TearDrop" by independentdva| Lulu Poetry

"The Last TearDrop" by independentdva Lulu Poetry

"Love Series" Part II "Women in Relationships" Pst #2 "What a Woman Looks/Wants in a Man:Above n Beyond"

A female is window shopping for a birthday gift for one of her girlfriends. She spots a nice sweater and decides to go inside to look at the price and sizes. A sales clerk walks up to her to see if she needed any assistance. The female looks up and the first thing she notice about the sales clerk is his______________.

Now what would your answer be Ladies? What is the first thing you notice about a man or when a man approaches you?

A lot may run through your mind as to picking out the best answer. It may be their clothes , how their hair is lined up, the kind of shoes they wear or their eyes. Most females will notice a guy's eye first. A saying I remember growing up was "You can tell a lot about a guy by looking in their eyes." Yet that may be true to some , but it's what females may see; getting a glimpse of a man. Personally for me, the first thing I notice when I see a man are their eyes. It's just something about them that gets my attention. But whatever you notice first ladies about a man, there will be some type of attraction to follow.

A Females Wants/Qualities in a Man

C'Mon Ladies! Now we all have that list of what we want in a man. Let's dust off that list and drag it out of our personal box and let's look at that list again. It's a reminder of when we are dating a guy in what we see as the most important quality of a man. We don't want any type of guy, but someone who meet our standards and shares of of those qualities that are very important to us. Some of our lists may be short, simple and sweet while others may have about 20 items listed. And that's OK because when you list down those qualities, it gives us an idea. But whatever they are, its very important that we distinguish what we cherish the most about a man and most importantly, the relationship itself and if the man can perform well , We know there is no such thing as the perfect man, BUT we know what we want IN a man. Let's examine some of those important qualities that a lot of females want in a man.

"Good Personality." The way a man carries themselves represents themselves, acts towards certain situations are some of the things that may distinguishes a "good personality' If a man is intelligent, smart, loyal, good-hearted, these are some traits that may lead up to a good personality as well. It's mainly about how a man carries themselves Ladies that are important.

"Communication" OMG! Now if you don't have this on your list, you are missing out on the MAIN ingredient in a relationship and within a person. How many of you ladies want a man that knows how to hold a decent conversation, who can talk to you about ANYTHING, who can tell you straight forward when there are change of plans? A relationship CAN'T function properly unless there is COMMUNICATION involved! I don't care if you been in a relationship with the same guy for 4 years. If there isn't NO communication whatsoever, it will sink FAST!

"Good Listener" We all have stories to tell when we get off from work and when we get back home. The first thing you wanna do is pick up the phone and call him because you know that he will listen. When a man listens to your problems and your needs, it means that he actually cares what you have to say! Most men AREN'T good listeners, so they tend to have a hard time comforting their soul mate and give out pointers/suggestions. You want to be able to talk to your man and be comfortable with the fact he will listen to you no matter what. Ladies, we tend to get emotional from time to time, so comfort and a shoulder to cry on is very important and a man should be able to performs those tasks in a relationship.

Here is my List of Qualities I want in a Man. Are some of these same ones on your list?

NIKKI'S QUALITIES IN A MAN

1) Great Personality

2) Good sense of Humor

3) Mature

4) Communication

5) REAL/Honesty

6) Produces 50% in a relationship

7) Good listener

8) Respectful

9) Romantic

10) Fun

What defines a REAL Man?

We all want a soul mate that will bring spark , great attitude and hard work into a relationship. But at the same time, we want a break-down of what realness should be about , what it should look like and how it should feel like.

What is your definition of a REAL MAN? Is it how he respects your whole persona? The way he communicates with you day in day out? When he admits his makes when he's wrong? When he shows his REAL emotions to you when he comforts you in the midnight hour?

The definition of a REAL man goes above and beyond. He doesn't just settle for less, but tries to meet every need for his mate. He tries in everything that he does and doesn't quit until the job is done. The faithful image he tries to pertain and won't stop until she's happy and satisfied.

Ladies, we all have our say-so moments when it comes to meeting guys and as females, we set high-standards for ourselves. So the next man that walks into your life, make sure he learns to value your needs and dignity!

"We don't settle for less because we deserve BETTER

We don't take mess from any guy, we are QUEENS

We rely on ourselves and don't rely on MAN

We are one of a kind like special pearls and rubies that are precious in his SIGHT"

Part II "Women in Relationships" Post #1 "That Hea Woman"

Look over there, that independent Diva chick standing on the side, looking fly, swagga so right,

This woman can't be missed, she's always in sight.

She knows what she wants in life, strives for it, believes in it, achieves in it,

The things she does to reach her goals will surely benefit.

That Hea Woman

Man she stands on her own two feet, does what she gotta do, she gets the job done,

The Battle she is fighting in her live, with God on her side, she has already won!

She doesn't look back at her past mistakes but keeps it moving; has a smile upon her face,

Steady on her grind, she has no time to waste.

That Hea Woman

She doesn't choose just any man that's laying around, but chooses a good man, the RIGHT man, Someone who will cherish her like gold, treats her like the Queen she is, someone who understands.

Not quick to get into drama of the world, more of a listener and an observer, she's too smart for that,

Not like these loud-mouthed, no good wanna-be Divas, she knows how to act!

That Hea Woman

She ain't afraid to speak her mind,

Look at that Diva to the left and to the right, she's one-of-a-kind.

Rolling the red carpet down the aisle because of her true fame, her unique game,

You better not disrespect her or put her to shame!

That Hea Woman

Part I "Love Series" "Conclusion"

Love comes in many different forms and levels. But we as humans must understand that when loves comes, its going to come hared and if its the real deal, its going to stay for as long as it needs to.

By defining love as a passionate and deep feeling between two people, the word can be misused in a way that can be hurtful. Yes its a "four-letter" word, but you have to understand that by saying "I love you," it has to come from the heart. Yes anyone can say that word, don't get me wrong, but when you DON'T mean it, it can cause a big misunderstanding and if feelings are involved, people will feel pain and frustrations.

Even when we want people to love us and get the attention of love that we deserve, we sometimes feel depressed or stressed. Especially in relationships when we think our partners love us in the beginning and as the relationship shifts, the love dies down. We want to be loves so badly, but you can't force others to love you back. But the ONLY person that will love us UNCONDITIONALLY is GOD Himself! God will always be on our side no matter what. When we are lonely and need to be loved and rocked, God won't hesitate! He'll be there in a second! That is the GREATEST LOVE EVER!

When we talk about love vs. lust, we all have been down the lust road a couple times in our lifetime. But when dealing with lust, you have to be careful because one can get hurt and when feelings are involved, they can sometimes lead to jealousy. But when you are dealing with REAL love, its a great feeling to share. Experiencing fake love is not where you want to go or feel in ANY relationship. When one say "I love you," and don't put in any hard work or effort, its' pointless! Let's all experience REAL love and get the best out of it!

In a relationship, you go through the different stages of love. Before you meet a person, there has to be an attraction of interest that establishes that passionate relationship. And when you feel as if the two of you are meant to be together, then by making a commitment, you are agreeing to stay with that person and share/bond together through the good times and bad.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage" -Lao Tzu

You have been "in love" and you have been "out of love," but what's more important is the person that holds your heart in the present and in the future!

"Your Love ..." Part One "Love" Post #5

Your love is an example of how the passion keeps the fire,

Your love is the true divine of one's heart desire.

Your love is what makes me feel good even when I'm sad,

Your love isn't just out of the ordinary, it doesn't try to make me mad.

Your love is what multiplies my pain and weakness that makes me even stronger,

Your love isn't a rush for our commitment, we can wain even longer.

Your love isn't a vacancy between true feelings of what's real and fake,

Your love doesn't argue over the feelings of intimacy, it doesn't debate; it distinguishes a strong bond, your love tries to make.

Your love always puts a smile upon my face when times have changed and darkness falls,

Your love reminds me how high it will take me and never shall I fall.

Your love deepens my mind, body and soul to a point that I'm speechless,

Your love doesn't try to take over, it works together, I appreciate this.

Your love is here to stay, it will never leave my side,

Your love is something that I can't ever ensurely deny.

"Love Series" Part One "Love" Post #4 "The Five Stages of Love"

When you are involved in a relationship or when talking to someone, you have to start from scratch and work your way up. When you start talking to someone, what's the first thing you do or ask to start the spark?

Well here is a breakdown of the Five Stages of Love in a relationship.

Stage One Attraction: There has to be some sort of attraction when you like somebody beyond friendship. You normally start becoming that person's friend then oven the months, things may change. I discovered that there are two types of attraction: Physical attraction and emotional attraction.

Physical attraction forms when bodies make contact or when both people develops a connection of one's image. All types of feelings start to form in you mind whereas your heart rate may increase or your palms may get sweaty.

Emotional attraction occurs when the two of you start to share some things the two of you may have in common such as hobbies, movies, education, etc. You will then start to form an emotional contact.

Stage Two Romance: Everyone tries to be romantic in their relationship to impress the other person and to basically satisfy one's needs. Did you know there are two types of romance.? Well if you didn't know, they are selfish and selfless romance.

When dealing with selfish romance, a person may buy gifts or do romantic things. It's basically doing romantic acts to gain something for yourself. You aren't really thinking of the other person's feelings.

On the other hand, selfless romance is when you do things to win someones happiness. The romantic things you do for your partner is basically out of the enjoyment and pleasure.

Stage Three Passion: This stage is basically a desire between two people that goes beyond an emotional attraction. It's like a strong feeling; a connection of some sort. The passion stage is very important in a relationship.

Stage Four Intimacy: This is where you share your most deepest thoughts and feelings to each other. It could be as deep as sharing your fears. At this point, you are opening up and releasing anything that's in you mind to each other. You should be able to trust your partner to a point that becoming intimate shouldn't be a problem.

Stage Five COMMITMENT: This is a very, very, very IMPORTANT part of a relationship. It's a pledge to one another to remain true and honest to one another. When you are making a commitment, you are agreeing to be there with your partner through the good times and the bad times. What makes a commitment hard at times is dealing with the bad times. You will have to learn how to outweigh the bad times along with the good!

LIVE, LEARN, LOVE, LAUGH...BE HAPPY!!!

"Love Series" Part I: "Love" Post #3; "Love vs Lust"

Love

As I continue to explore the whole theory on Love and try to express my opinions, I want to let you know that love isn't just a 4-letter word as a lot of you may know. Behind that word, there are strong feelings, passionate thoughts, hurt, pain, tear, insecurities, etc

Love has many faces and it shows different personalities. We all go through many emotions, the frustrations, the worries, the stress and even the happiness when dealing with love. I asked the question, "What is your definition of love?" in one of my latest posts from last week. Basically in my opinion, Love is the passion; a true divine feeling expressed between two people.

As you already know, "Love is patient, Love is kind..," so basically when you experience "True Love," you got to realize the hard work that is put into it to make it last.

Real Love vs Fake Love

Okay we all have experience both types in our lifetime. It's pretty simple to determine when love is here to stay for good or whether love is here to stay for a season.

Real Love

Everyone in their life have been in love/experienced the "Real Deal" If you haven't you will someday. Can you even remember the first time you fell in love? Long time huh? I remember my first love when I was 18. It's a great feelings. Taking me out to the movies and out to eat, buying me gifts~! He had me geeked for sure! lol It's all about how you show you love and appreciation for that person. It's more then saying "I love you." You got to show that person why you love them so much and show them that you are here to stay. When you are in a "committed" relationship, you tend to develop strong feelings and you way of thinking tend to change when it's real love, it's hear to stay, You are no longer thinking just about yourself, but for the other person as well. You share a relationship, a commitment, a bond...One Love...REAL LOVE.

Fake Love

What's more worst than loving somebody who claim they don't love you back? Like I said before, people are quick to say "I love you." This type of love pretends...it shows no desire of any intention of full-filling a true commitment. No work goes into the relationship and therefore one person is left to not believing in love. I'm not saying you have to spend time with your mate 24/7 or buy gifts all the time, but try and show you appreciation and affection once in a while. Fake love leeches on to an individual for numerous of reasons. One of them may be so that they can abuse your love without loving back. They may be in relationship for insecurity reasons and then leave the relationship with no explanation.

The Five Types of Love

Alot of you may not know the different types of love and the difference between then. Here they are:

1) Eros: This type of love is a passionate love with a sensual desire. It doesn't necessary have to be a sexual type of love either.

So basically if you like someone or have your eye on a particular person, you may experience a passionate love for that person.

2) Philia: This type of love is expressed as a friendship type of love and it's also a type of love that is used between family and friends.

A lot of times when you experience the closeness in a friendship or with family, you feel the love and you express it through appreciation.

3) Agape: This means "I love You" and is a general affection or brotherly love, "divine" love and a sacrificing love.

We all know the scripture in the Bible "love thy neighbor..." This is a type of love shown between our Christian brothers and sisters.

4) Storge: This type of love is an "affectionate" love and is expressed towards parents and relationships within family.

We should all be familiar with this type of love.

5) Thelema: This type of love means having a desire for something.

In other words, what do you love doing the most? Is it making beats to music, writing poetry, or collect antiques? Whatever it is, you have a desire, a love for it.

Lust

What is your definition of Lust? A lot of people have their own interpretations and opinion of what is the real definition is. The real definition of lust is "a craving for sexual intercourse; an appetite; a desire or "craving"

Basically when you're dealing with lust, you're dealing with evilness, jealousy, anger, cravings and all types of desires. You aren't looking for a relationship, because your feelings for that person isn't about "getting to know them," its about "getting with them."

What leads to Lust?

When you develop a lust for someone, you're not thinking about their feelings, but the "physical" attraction a person may portray in their image. For females, it may be a guy's chest, their abs, lips, eyes or frames and for males, it may be her body, smile, eyes etc.

When the attraction is full-filled for one another, it's kind of hard to control those emotional feelings that are developed. It doesn't take much for lust to occur because its like the easy way outta love and the only way to skip straight to dessert. Lust only lasts for a couple of hours and then afterwards, you may feel a little guilty or resentful. You are giving a piece of yourself to a stranger or somebody you may know then to be with someone for the right reasons and giving them all of you.

The Bible states in Corinthians in the love chapter; it breaks down what love is. But did you know Lust has an opposite break down as well? For Example: "Love is patient." and Lust is saying "Lust can't wait; its impulsive." According to http://www.calvaryftl.org/Ministries/Family/Love-vs-Lust; this is basically saying that Lust has to happen right then and there. It has no timing or life-long goals. "Love is kind." Lust is saying that it seeks more than earned. When you are out looking for Lust, you are only searching for the sexual desire that's already developed.

Three Ways to Prevent Lust

1) Determine what you want from that person. Whether you want a relationship or just lust.

2) Try to play hard to get sometimes. Don't let everyone know that you are "easy access" to them.

3) Have your limitations with people. Don't let people get the best of you.

Part I of "Love Series" "The Deepest Love"

How strong is your love?

Is it strong enough to hold somebody's heart?

When you love hard, are you good at not letting that person fall apart?

What type of love do you possess?

A strong bondage of love, we always put it up for a test; let's all confess!

It's not easy to love hard and not feel the returned love back,

Love is patient, love is kind, love isn't jealous, as-a-matter-of-fact

How long does it take for you to love somebody and simply mean it?

Love stands on its own two feet, it's like a brick wall, Love won't have a fit.

When love hurts us, we fall down on our knees with tears streaming down our face,

If love gonna continue to break our hearts over and over again, then there's no point to love again, if that's the case.

We meet different people and different people come into our lives for different reasons,

Love will vanish into your life and disappears just like the season.

But you have to pick yourself up and remain strong when the evilness of love strikes back,

The next time love walks into your life, you should know how to act!

Love sometimes makes us weak, that we get so depressed,

You are too blessed to be stressed, don't feed into your Love mess.

Sometimes we look for love in all the wrong places,

Trying to fill the empty spaces,

While making love, you'll be making love faces.

Stop trying to look for love! Let love find you,

A new love, the way it will make you feel brand new.

The dangers of love will make your head spin,

As if you are about to commit a deadly sin.

The deepest love is all within, all within.

You have been broken down, heartaches, headaches, can't sleep cuz you are thinking about that lost love, that one love, that DEEPEST love,

As the love angels are falling from above,

The drops of visible love are bonded like two doves.

When people say they love you, but leave you,

They never knew that true love was, you forget the feeling when you are through!

Through with the bondage of feeling lonely, but you still begging people to love you back so you can feel loved!

You can't beg for love! Just be patient,

Trying to multiply the number of people who love you and subtract the love pains like an equation.

The deepest love, the REAL love is God Himself,

When others have broken your heart, God never left!

He will ALWAYS remain in your heart,

Til death do you part.

The Real Love God is,

He might not be your last love, or first love or a love whiz.

But whatever you are going through, whenever you need to be comforted, God will do that without hesitating,

He'll show you love when you are at your lowest and meditating.

When you're lonely, He'll be there for you even in the time of need,

You won't have to be a follower, He wants you to take His hand and He will lead.

When the world's love has given up and all you are dealing with are scrubs,

Just look over your shoulders and embrace the DEEPEST LOVE!

"The Greatest Love"

What is "your" definition of Love? When you think about love, what thoughts run through your mind when you think about it?

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own" -Robert A. Heinlein

The love that is expressed in relationships can sometimes be the most painful kind because we tend to experience the heartaches and headaches. Especially when our heart is broken. When people say "I LOVE YOU", we wonder do they really mean it or are they just saying that because it sounds good., In a relationship, we want to make that bond and connection so that everything goes smoothly.

Why are there so much pain when people say that they love u and later, they change their mind? We could be with someone for five years; everything seems to go great, until something goes wrong and a break-up is on the way. How many times you have been in love and can honestly say that person loved you back?

Well guess what? When the world has stopped loving you and relationships don't go right or that "special" person has stopped loving you, God is the GREATEST Love!! He will never leave you or forsake you! No matter what you are going through, God will be right there to comfort you! He has your back 100% and God NEVER stops loving us! The world's love may be temporary, but God's love is ETERNAL!!!

"Stay Postive, Stay Positive, Stay Positive"

Inhale, Exhale! Sometimes you have to do that once in awhile to stay on track. Sometimes you may feel down in the dumps and negative thoughts run through your mind and it may cause you to worry or stress.

The little things that goes on in our live that isn't worth it, Toss it to the side! It's no point to stress over things you have no control over. I remember talking to a friend yesterday and he told me not to sweat the small stuff and try to remain positive. I wanted to laugh and say, "Are you serious? That's gonna be a hard task for me to do!" But I knew deep down inside, he is right. I can't let the small things weigh me down and cause me to loose focus because God wants me to give all my problems to Him and focus on the present and future!

By staying positive and encouraging yourself daily, you can focus on what is really important. Having a positive attitude, the doors of the future will always be open to you. If only if you follow your heart and let NO ONE knock you down, you will be good to go. Everyone goes through something in their life where it feels like its too hard to handle. You can try saying these words, "I can get through this, I WILL get through this. Nobody is going to stand in my way." With a little bit of encouragement and positive thinking, the race that you are running in your life will be a smooth sailing! All you gotta do is Trust and Believe!

Six Steps to Staying Positive

1) Go in front of a mirror and take maybe five minutes to say encouraging and positive words to yourself.

2) When you are thinking negative thoughts, grab a notebook or paper and jot down ways to make those thoughts into positive ones.

3) Make a list of all the positive things you can do to help solve your problems. Go back over your list and highlight the top five.

4) Try doing at least "one" positive activity a day whether it's donating clothes, giving someone money or volunteering.

5) When you feel like you are about to be stressed out, breathe in deeply, talk positively in your mind and release all of you stress/thoughts out.

6) Find something that motivates you, something that will enable you to become less stress.

"Unloosening the Shackles"

Where art thou to be in this world?

Away from the evil that has done us wrong.

Showing no fear and continuing to walk a straight path, keeping your head lifted high and shoulders hunched up high.

Remaining patient and keeping the faith when swirls of trouble eats away at your soul and mind,

Making you weak and at night crying.

Denying all the trouble , the pain,

You should know that God's work isn't a game.

You wanna be free of everything that's shackling you up in life.

Free from the past that won't let you go,

There is a God, and awesome God, I want you to know.

Rise up again all ye people.

Raise your hands proudly, willingly, you wanna be set free. Ask God to set your mind, soul and body free; you wanna be free from anything that's hindering you from moving on,

Plant that seed of a new start in your life; get the sowing.

Unloose yourself from these shackles that are tying and weighing you down like heavy boulders with string tied to your ankles; and every time you take a step foreword, you fall back down. The devil want you to go backwards,

But after you continue to praise God, all the destruction of the enemy will vanish afterwards.

How many souls want to be saved from all the harm and danger?

Pick up the spiritual phone, He is not a stranger.

Pick yourself p and dust your body off. You've been down in the dirt too long, you've been bleeding too much.

God will pick you up and carry your weak body on His back,

The strength and protection from the wars of hell; you won't have to lack.

As He blows air and breathes life back into your body, you feel stronger,

You ask God, "How much of this will I have to deal with the storm, how much longer?"

He lets you sleep peacefully on His heart telling you not to worry anymore,

You won't have to put shackles upon your life anymore.

Unloosen the Shackles in your life, in your heart, on your soul; inhale, exhale,

All you have to do is rely on God, He will never fail.

Unloosen the Shackles so you can find happiness again,

Let the fresh morning dew of His power in your newness of purity begin.

Let there be no more heartaches, headaches,

Let's learn to live life and not hate, but have 200% of believing in fate.

When we were at our lowest and no one couldn't help us;we were dirty individuals,

The only thing up ahead we could see were the deadly visuals.

Face covered with dirt and tears but we never showed fear,

Don't you know that God will always be near?

TAKE THEM OFF NOW!

You're free!

Can't you see?

Don't look back at these wars that are like a football game filled with tackles,

Stop right now and UNLOOSEN THE SHACKLES!

"Acceptance"

Why do people feel as if they have to hang out with certain people or join organizations for attention or just to be "accepted" because they feel like they do?

Sometimes you have to accept who you are and accept the fact that when you change for others, you are only hurting yourself. But the type of acceptance I am referring to is the type women go through to get that "certain" attention from that "certain" somebody.

As women, we tend to look at ourselves from head to toe. From our natural hair/weave to our figure. God made us all in His own eyes and trying to change a part of u so that you can please others isn't going to solve your problem. When you look in the mirror, you should see a beautiful creature. It's not about what the world think of u, but it's about how you portray yourself. Many men sometimes like women to look a certain way or to act a certain way; wanting our body size to be their fantasy. And as women, we try and loose weight/gain weight, dress a little differently so that we will feel "accepted" into the eyes of men instead of being ourselves.!

I feel that if a man can't ACCEPT you the way you truly are, they aren't worth the time. Ladies, stop trying to find love and acceptance! Let love find you! Let that RIGHT man accept not only PART of you, but ALL of you. Because when you start changing for all the wrong reasons, you start to feel a little different; you sometimes may worry and your self-esteem level gets lower.

When men can't accept the fact that God made who we are for a reason, then that's saying they can't really accept your hearts and personality. You got to remember that when in a relationship, make sure that they are actually feeling you and accept EVERYTHING about you. IF they can't MOVE ON! Never feel like you are missing out on something if a guys wants you to be a certain way because guess what? He's missing out on a wonderful opportunity!

As ladies, we got to represent and stand still and realize we are beautiful, strong and one of a kind! Can't no man change who and what you are! Acceptance can be a deadly weapon because once you change your image, your ways, your whole persona, your mind becomes weak when you are trying to fit into something or a place isn't of you.

Learn to accept who you are, what you will become in the near future and what God has called you to do on Earth. A lot of times some women don't like the way they look, they don't like the way they dress, their hair isn't the way they would like it to be or some women might complain about the way their body is shaped. Stop complaining and LEARN TO ACCEPT. We sometimes stress and worry about our bodies and whether he or she will like you, but all that doesn't matter.

"God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I CANNOT change..."

If you keep these encouraging words in the back of you mind and in your heart, you will learn to become a stronger woman who can overcome and face any obstacle in your life. Remember, when others won't FULLY ACCEPT YOU, GOD WILL 200% and more! #REALTALK

"Loving Urself, not Hating Urself"

When you love yourself, love yourself entirely,

Love yourself to the fullest, don't love yourself one day and hate yourself the next.

When you love yourself, love every feature that God has created,

The good and bad, even the features that are tolerated.

Don't complain about what you don't have, but be thankful.

Look at all of you, even the spots you can't see,

All of you is lovable, kissable, holdable.

Don't ever say you hate what you look like,

You should always love yourself no matter what, day and night.

Look in the mirror...look closely at the beautiful image. How can you hate something so sweet in God's creation?

Learn to love the choices you make, the things that you do,

Whatever it takes to get you through.

Stop hating the fact if you don't look like the next person ot a famous celebrity,

Just be the best person that you can be!

Don't hate your smile or the clothers that you wear,

Don't stop and look at a complete stranger and dare to compare.

Appreciate what you have and the fact that you are blessed,

Don't live day by day worrying and being stressed.

Love the person that you are today,

Love the small things, like the encouraging words people will say.

Love the fact that God wakes you up each and every morning,

Love your laugh, the way you talk, the fact that you are adoring.

Love but don't hate,

Love the fact that you can't escape,

Living and loving life according to fate,

Learn to love yourself and to appreciate.

Loving yourself and not hating yourself,

Dont hate yourself, but love yourself.

Love yourself, Love yourself, Love yourself.

Fall in love with yourself.

Live in your air, breathe your air.

Loving yourself, but not hating yourself.

"It's all about WHO you know, not WHAT you know"

As we all know, the economy is stressful and the people without work are some-what stressing that they aren't able to find a job. We hope that will get better and the people without a job will get one real soon.

But let's not give up hope, but remember to keep the faith. Some of the popular search engines in finding a job may be Careerbuilder, Career Connection, CraigsList, Job.Com or Indeed.com. When searching for a job, make sure you focus is in the area of your interest. As you already know, when searching for a job, its about WHO you kknow instead of WHAT you know. Sad, but very true! I remember my last job for the government, my mom's friend knew somebody and BAM! I got the temp position. But you have to meet that RIGHT person that will guide you in the right direction and get you connection to the right jobs.

After graduating from college, a lot of college grads are fortunate in working at their place of internship or even to get a job ofger, while others may not be so lucky. But that's ok because you can sit back and enjoy the summer while searching for a job.

And even if you can't find something within a couple of months, then volunteering is a GREAT way of getting your foot in the door. That is a key factor! Once you have been exposed to different companies, people will realize what a good aset you are to their company and many times they wil hire you. But like I said earlier, it's about WHO you know.

NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK is a MUST. If you are hungry in finding a job, you got to be on your grind and hustle for what you want. Remember to be persistent and learn to follow-up on the jobs that you are applying for. Also try going to job fairs often and network with the companies to see how far you get. You never know what you will get out of it!

But whatever you do, don't stress! Don't worry! Remain strong! God will bless you with the RIGHT job at the RIGHT time!

"Strong Women Stand up!"

Hello Ladies! How are you today? I hope that you are having a great day!

As women we are flowers. We bloom into beautiful creatures that God has created in His own image. We are the back bone to society and deserve the up most respect when dealing with the world's problems. As women we play an important role! Yes we have to look presentable with our fancy hair styles, swagga-fresh clothes, and lets not forget our variety of shoes that brings out our complete package. But we have to remain strong! We have to continue to keep the faith and be humble.

A lot of people don't understand all the pain and suffering that we go through and even behind closed doors. The late-night tears that may fall down our face from a difficult break-up or complications that only God knows about and no one else. Who understands what a REAL woman goes through? Some men can't understand fully why we cry easily, why our heart bruises easily, how we can smile through our pain. Because we are STRONG WOMEN and as STRONG WOMEN, we should stand together in unity. We deal with the world's drama on a daily basis such as bitchy females who can't understand why our swagg is so tight and how great our personality and attitude fits. Oh how some females love to hate on us STRONG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN of UNITY. You see we can't engage in the world's drama because we have better things to worry about!

We maintain strong and keep pressing on. But when we are faced with jealousy of other low-class females who don't have nothing better to do then to mess with our ego, we play it off and let them keep talking, because as STRONG WOMEN, we ignore the BS and keep walking! It may look simple, but really its not. Do you know how many times we have to bite our tongues so that we won't end up in "cat fights" or to pull our heels off and tie our hair back in a ponytail? LOL

STRONG WOMEN we know how much we can take, how much the world has to keep tugging and pulling before we explode. But lets not get to that point. We deal with the no-good men in relationships who has verbally abused us, disrespected us or even physically abused us! We have dealt with the "other woman" dram and the "baby mama" drama, the "who-the heck-is calling-his-phone-at-3am-in-the-morning" drama and so much more. But we have to remember that we can't tolerate so much stress at one time. What you can do is inhale and exhale deeply, close your eyes and think about all of the positive things in your life instead of all the negative things that are making you frustrated and worried.

Learn to encourage yourself by speaking positive to yourself and your situations. As women, we have to keep our spirits lifted and never let man or the world distract us to what we want to do in life! As STRONG WOMEN, we have to let our voice be heard and STAND STRONG AND STAND STILL!

"We are the women of today and tomorrow,
Let's not show any pain, fear or sorrow.
We stand strong and still when no one else can,
STRONG WOMEN we truly are, spreading our happiness and love through thick and thin.
Let no man tell us what we can't do,
Making every thought and dream come true.
Stand up BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! STAND UP TALL AND PROUD,
Let us say "NOBODY CAN PUT US DOWN!" as we don't hesitate to speak, but to say it real loud!"

"Good-Bye 2010...Hello 2011"

Each year we all plan our dreams/goals and also our accomplishments of what we all want to follow up on. Whether it is to write a book, create a website, graduate from school, get a new job or change for the best, we strive and press toward the mark to get to where we want to go in life.

As the year slowly ends and as Thanksgiving and Christmas rolls around the corner, we look back over the months of 2010 and see what things we most remembered or the things that has hurt us in the few months. You know the old saying "Leave the past in the past?" Well that's true, but we also have to keep in mind that we have to learn from our mistakes and move on to higher expectations. 'Man this year sure has flown by" some of you may say. It just seems like time is ticking and we are getting older and wiser each and everyday. If someone was to ask you this question: "What was the most memorable thing in the year of 2010?" What would your answer be and why?

A lot of people don't make New Year Resolutions because most of us don't tend to follow them, but we all know what has to be done in the upcoming year. "A time for new beginnings." This is a true statement because a lot of us didn't really have a great year. Maybe because of you got laid off or fired from your job, you lost a close relative/friend, you been in a car accident, you thought you were going to move into a new house/apartment but you couldn't, etc, but look on the bright side, you still made it! You are still here! Things might not go accordingly to your plan, but God always has the last say-so in everything.

If this wasn't the best year for you, don't worry! All you have to do is keep running the race of life, keep the faith and remain strong and everything will work out just fine! Some goals or dreams that you made for this year can always carry over in 2011. Some goals/dreams may be long-term ones and may require more time and focus, but I believe that you can do it!!! (Smile)

So as we almost say good-bye to 2010, lets prepare our hearts and minds for 2011 and let the upcoming year be a very good one for us!

Remember, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

"Don't Misrepresent ME...I Represent MYself!"

Don't Misrepresent me, the person I am, who I'm striving to be,
Don't Misrepresent my style, my heart, my pain , my love, things you will never see.
Don't Misrepresent the woman I'm trying to become, to follow my dreams, my goals,
You will never understand when things seems to fall apart; some things will never get old.

You see you cant Misrepresent somebody that you don't know,
You see you can Misrepresent somebody when they choose not to show.
I'm not perfect, will never be perfect, not trying to be perfect, I do me, try to be the best that I can be, the person I will be, so don't Misrepresent ME!
Don't Misrepresent my past, we all make mistakes and learn from them,
Don't Misrepresent me, if I'm not that precious sapphire or ruby gem.

I-AM-0ME
I-AM-MY OWN PERSON

I am what God has made me to be,
What He has called me to be.,

So stop judging the indefinite beauty, strong-minded, strong-hearted, sophisticated human-being.

Imma do me, Imma do me, Imma DO ME!

Stop trying to figure me out, because you will It figure everything you need to know,
i try to live my life to the fullest, taking things nice and slow.

I stand still when it comes to living in this world, living alone,
Being an independent Queen, not needing to rely on people, it has already shown.
I don't have to prove to people what a good person I am, What I am and Who I am.

Who am I? Who am I to you? Can you see on my face and in my heart the things I've been through,
Can you see the obstacles I've had to face to get to where I'm at today?
The sweetest, most caring, most respectful person some may say.

Don't Misrepresent my talent God has blessed me with,
Don't Misrepresent my change of a stronger vision when I'm about to shift.

So don't come to me with the attitude, sarcasm, evilness, when all Imma do is walk away,
And continue to live life day by day.

When enemies try and destroy my life,
When they never wanna see me do right,
All ii can do is pray day and night, day and night, day and night.

I Represent myself to the fullest,
I live my life to the fullest,
What God has blessed me with, I Represent it to the fullest!

You see no one can't pull me down when I'm so far up in the sky when i wanna get away from the world, I climb on cloud 9.
No one can't pull me down when all I wanna do is go higher, higher and higher until you can't see me anymore.

And I'll be walking through the double doors, the doors of opportunity, unity, everything brand new, I will start to see.

I only Represent me, Imma continue to do me, be me, so don't Misrepresent me, I wanna be free, set free, set free, set my soul free!

So don't Misrepresent me, I Represent myself.
I Represent myself so much that when the haters and enemies try to touch me,
It will give then a shock of reality!

You see I was built on strongness, patience, loveliness, so nobody will ever try to pull this Queen of Ya-Highness down,
I walk on the path without making a sound.

I Represent myself when people seem to not understand ,
When people say i can't when I know without a doubt that I can.
That special friend that lives above,
Giving me the strength and all the love.

I Represent myself and nobody else, nobody else, and nobody else!
Why worry about others when I got my life to live?
I don't deal with the fakeness, I'm all about the real, the realness, 100% real...200% realer, sometimes life can be such a thriller,
Walking alone in darkness,
No lights
No sun
New life, new things has already begun,
The battle I have almost won!
My mind, body and soul as one, as one, as ONE; UNITY
The encouragement and confidence that will only get through to me.

So Don't Misrepresent ME...I Represent MYself!!!

Look Foreword...Not Backwards; Pressing Towards the Mark

"Yes I can! Yes I can!" Say it loud and say it proud! You want to try and stay encouraged when you are running this race called life. Can't nobody stop you and nobody will stop you, unless it's you!

Many people tend to say that we can learn from our past mistakes and learn from the past and that's true. But what we need to keep in mind is that we also need to move foreword and not let the things in our past lives stop us from succeeding in the future. God gave us all the strength to keep running until we reach the end of our journey. Philippians 3:13 clearly states "..Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."

In other words, we have to keep pressing on towards the mark and make the best of things in our life. God has placed trials and tribulations in our life and situations that can be above our heads, but by believing in Him and remaining strong, we can get through anything and any obstacle that are thrown at us.

The next time you are going through a tough situation and you feel like giving up, just stop and ask yourself this question: "What is my purpose in life? What has God intended for me to do while living on this Earth?." Remember that God has already prepared and planned your every footstep you take to your next destination.

So just keep pressing on towards the prize. Leave what's in the past in the past and start focusing on the goodness of God. Just put your faith and trust in Him and the rest will fall in place.

"Keep pressing on towards the prize"

A love that will never end

How long should it really take to find a true love? a love that will stay and never leave? Many people always wonder when the right person will come along. It's all about having patience and the desire to love the person God will place in our lives. It's always said that a male should go and look for their mate while females have to sit and wait for months or sometimes year for Mr. Right to come along. But why can't females go out and find their other half. In today's society, there are females that are brave enough to go up to a guy and try to figure out what they are all about. It's nothing wrong with that, but we as females must be careful not to chase the wrong guy and end up feeling miserable.


I believe that once you find that right person, you should definitely keep them! Maybe one day the two of you will get married! What qualities are important when getting into a relationship? Looks aren't everything, but its what the other person has to offer as far as great personality and/or if they are mature. But two of the most qualities are communication and honesty.

Yeah we all want someone that can communicate well. Also who wants to be with someone who lies all the time? It all comes with trust and being secure in a relationship. Wherever true love is, it has a purpose/reason to be in your life. Some people tend to fall in love easy and others take longer to discover if the person they are dating is true love.

How would you define "real love?" Anyone can say I love you and call and be with you all the time, but when you have been in a relationship for long periods of time and the vibe between you and the other person is very strong, its very likely that its real love: you love spending time with them all the time, you don't ever want to get off the phone with them, hearing their voice first thing in the morning makes u blush and smile, if you don't hear from them periods of time, you tend to worry or get mad and you just love how they compliment you. Those are some of the things that could trigger real love.

But God will bless you with the right person, just have faith that he/she will find you or you will find them. We all hope for love that will never end; that's everlasting like God's love.

Self-esteem

Have you ever had so many random thoughts running through your mind that you didn't know what to do with them? You keep telling yourself that you are going to write down those thoughts but you never did? That's whats happening to me. I can go on and on about different thoughts that keeps swimming in my mind, but I'm only going to share one thought and one topic at a time. Self-esteem is a problem that everyone can talk about, especially myself.

When you open up a fashion magazine and see a beautiful face with flawless skin and shiny beautiful hair, you automatically think that that person in the magazine has it going on. So many people aren't satisfield with the way they look, whether it's their hair, arms, legs, feet, nose or facial expressions. So many people want to be like that person walking on the street or somebody in their office. I remember when I was in highschool, I was this short, small and goofy looking girl who wished she was thick and have long flowing hair. Back then I had braces and wore glasses (I still do now). I never liked the way I looked because I wanted to weigh a certain weight and I wanted to have a big booty and toner arm muscles.

After graduating from high school and going to college, I started to feel a little bit better about who I was but I was still this short, petite girl with glasses without the braces and I wanted to weigh at least 120 pounds. When I see other girls walking on campus who are bigger than I am, I used to get discouraged. I know I'm this beautiful strong African American female whose dark skinned and thought that light skinned girls or "redbones" were much better attractive than people who were brown-skinned "milk chocolate" and dark-skinned. Man I had soo many thoughts running through my mind because I wanted to be of a different color and have a different body texture for what reason? I'll tell you the reason. Guys who constantly degrade women and being very particular about what type of female that see themselves with and the physical appearance they wanted in a girl drove me INSANE!

I mean physical appearance isn't everything when choosing your mate! Well quite naturally, you don't want that person to be ugly, but at the same time, it's about what's in your heart and not the outer appearance. But a lot of people don't see that and don't realize that. Soo many females trying to loose weight because they think if they are skinny, people will accept them more so they starve themselves to death and drink these slim fast drinks. Learn to accept who you are inside. Don't worry about what people think of you. I'm not saying there isn't peer pressure, but we have to learn to cope with those feelings, these suicidal thoughts because we don't like our bodies.

God created us in His own image, so we have to learn how to accept our bodies and move on with our lives. If people don't like our bodies, so what! You have to live and learn! It's a living and learning process for all of us and we can't give up hope!

Just continue to pray for low self-esteem and God will continue to work it out!

Patrice N. Rivers